Advocate Resources | Organized Village of Kasaan

Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, psychological violence, and emotional abuse.

TYPES OF DOMESTIC ABUSE

Control, Emotional Abuse & Intimidation
Physical Abuse
Sexual Abuse
Verbal Abuse: Coercion, Threats, & Blame
Economic Abuse

CONTROL, EMOTIONAL ABUSE & INTIMIDATION

Controlling behavior is a way for the batterer to maintain dominance over the victim. Emotional abuse involves invalidating or deflating the victim's sense of self-worth and/or self-esteem.

This may include but is not limited to:

Control

Checking the mileage on the odometer following use of the car
Monitoring phone calls, using caller ID or other number monitoring devices, not allowing the victim to make or receive phone calls
Invading victim's privacy by not allowing them time and space of their own
Forcing or encouraging the victim's dependency by making them believe they are incapable of surviving or performing simple tasks on their own
Using the children to control the victim by using the children as spies, threatening to kill, hurt or kidnap the children, and threats to call Child Protective Services if the victim leaves the relationship

Emotional Abuse & Intimidation

Calling the victim names, insulting the victim or continually criticizing the victim
Trying to isolate the victim from family or friends
Monitoring where the victim goes, who they call and who they spend time with
Trapping the victim in their home or preventing them from leaving
Using weapons to threaten to hurt the victim
Threatening to hurt the victim, the children, victim's family or pets

Damaging the victim's property when they’re angry (throwing objects, punching walls, kicking doors, etc.)
Blaming the victim for the abuse
Accusing the victim of cheating and being often jealous of victim's outside relationships
Serially cheating on the victim and then blaming the victim for his or her behavior
Attempting to control the victim's appearance: what they wear, how much/little makeup they wear, etc.
Telling the victim that they will never find anyone better, or that they are lucky to be with a person like them

PHYSICAL ABUSE AND SEXUAL ABUSE

Physical abuse is any physically aggressive behavior, withholding of physical needs, indirect physically harmful behavior, or threat of physical abuse.

Sexual abuse occurs when the abuser coerces or attempts to coerce the victim into having sexual contact or sexual behavior without the victim's consent.

This may include but is not limited to:

Physical Abuse

Pulling the victim's hair, punching, slapping, kicking, biting or choking the victim.
Forbidding the victim from eating or sleeping.
Hurting the victim with weapons.
Preventing the victim from calling the police or seeking medical attention.
Harming the victim's children.
Abandoning the victim in unfamiliar places.
Driving recklessly or dangerously when the victim is in the car with them.
Forcing the victim to use drugs or alcohol.

Sexual Abuse

Forcing the victim to dress in a sexual way.
Insulting the victim in sexual ways.
Forcing or manipulating the victim into to having sex or performing sexual acts.
Holding the victim down during sex.
Demanding sex when the victim is sick, tired or after hurting the victim.
Hurting the victim with weapons or objects during sex.
Involving other people in sexual.
activities with the victim against their will.
Ignoring the victim's feelings regarding sex.
Forcing the victim to watch pornography.
Purposefully trying to pass on a sexually transmitted disease to the victim.

VERBAL ABUSE

Verbal abuse is any abusive language used to denigrate, embarrass or threaten the victim.

This may include but is not limited to:

Threatening to hurt or kill the victim or her children, family, pets, property or reputation.
Name calling.
Yelling, screaming, rampaging, terrorizing or refusing to talk.

ECONOMIC ABUSE

Economic abuse takes place when the abuser makes or tries to make the victim financially reliant.

This may include but is not limited to:

Placing the victim's paycheck in their bank account and denying the victim access to it.
Preventing the victim from viewing or having access to bank accounts.
Forbidding the victim to work or limiting the hours that the victim can work.
Stealing money from the victim or victim's family and friends.
Using funds from children’s savings accounts without victim's permission.
Making you give them your tax returns or PFD.
Refusing to give you money to pay for necessities/shared expenses like food, clothing, transportation, or medical care and medicine.

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Sexual Assault

Sexual assault occurs when someone, without your consent, touches or penetrates you sexually.

FORMS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT:

Attempted rape.
Fondling or unwanted sexual touching.
Forcing a victim to perform sexual.
acts, such as oral sex or penetrating the perpetrator’s body.
Penetration of the victim’s body, also known as rape.

WHAT IS CONSENT?

Consent is a voluntary, sober, enthusiastic, informed, mutual, honest and verbal agreement. It is an active agreement and cannot be coerced. A person who is incapacitated because of drugs, medication or alcohol CANNOT give consent.

WHAT IS FORCE?

Force does not have to be physical. Perpetrators may use emotional coercion, psychological force, or manipulation to coerce a victim into non-consensual sex. Some perpetrators will use threats to force a victim to comply, such as threatening to hurt the victim or their family or other intimidation tactics.

SIGNS OF SEXUAL ASSAULT:

Bruising
Bleeding (vaginal or anal)
Difficulty walking
Soreness
Broken or dislocated bones
Difficulty trusting others
Self-harming behaviors, thoughts of suicide, or suicidal behaviors
Low self-esteem

Sex Trafficking

Sex trafficking is the recruitment, harboring, transportation, provision or obtaining of an individual who under force, fraud or coercion is induced to perform a commercial sex act.

Sex trafficking DOES NOT need to have some form of travel, transportation or movement across borders. A person can be trafficked in their own home.

Traffickers use force, drugs, emotional tactics, and financial methods to control their victims. Often, recruiters may find ways to form a strong bond with young girls – for instance, they may promise marriage or a lifestyle the girls have not had in their families of origin.

Many victims become romantically involved with someone who then forces or manipulates them into prostitution.

WARNING SIGNS:

Signs of physical abuse such as burn marks, bruises or cuts.
Works excessively long and/or unusual hours.
Exhibits unusually fearful or anxious behavior after bringing up law enforcement or immigration officials.
Shows signs of substance use or addiction.
Is not in control of his/her own money, no financial records, or bank account.
Is not in control of his/her own identification documents (ID or passport).
Is not allowed or able to speak for themselves (a third party may insist on being present and/or translating).
Claims of just visiting and inability to clarify where he/she is staying/address.
Lack of knowledge of whereabouts and/or of what city he/she is in.

Stalking

Stalking is defined as knowingly engaging in a course of conduct that recklessly places another in fear of death or physical injury or in fear of death or physical injury of a family member (this includes all telephone, email, and other types of non-physical contact)

FORMS OF STALKING:

Surveillance stalking - The perpetrator follows an individual and watches them. With surveillance stalking, the perpetrator is known to sit outside the home, place of work, school, or other places that the individual frequents.

Cyber stalking - This is the use of electronic means, such as the internet or cellphones, to stalk victims. Cyber-stalking is also considered unsolicited contact from the perpetrator to the victim.

Aggravated stalking - This occurs when the perpetrator restrains the victim, causes bodily harm to the victim, or violates an order of protection.

TYPES OF STALKERS:

Rejected Stalker - This type of stalker becomes upset when the friendship or romantic relationship has ended. The rejected stalker is not only self-centered and jealous but also over-dependent and persistent.

Resentful Stalker - The resentful stalker feels humiliated that the relationship has ended and seeks revenge upon the victim. Resentful stalkers are often irrationally paranoid and are known to verbally assault their victims.

Predatory Stalker - The predatory stalker seeks power and sexual gratification. They will not make physical contact but will use surveillance to track the victim.

Intimacy Seeker - The intimacy-seeking stalker seeks an intimate and romantic relationship with the victim. When the stalker is rejected by the victim, he or she will continually phone the victim, write the victim letters, and can become jealous and violent if the victim enters into a relationship with someone else.

Incompetent Suitor - The incompetent suitor stalker usually has inadequate social skills. They want a relationship with the victim but do not have the ability to realize he or she is not meant to be with the victim.

Erotomania and Morbidly Infatuated - This type of stalker feels that the victim loves them even though they may not have had any contact with the victim.

Safety Planning

It is important that you create a safety plan that is right for you.

Please contact a Victim Advocate to create a safety plan.

Call or text: 907-401-3441

Here are some things you can do ahead and also go over with the advocate while creating the safety plan:

Tell your children not to get involved if there is violence; their job is to stay safe. Find a safe place for them to stay in case of violence and teach them to call 911 and what to say.

Hide money, spare keys and a small bag of clothes at work or at someone’s house that you trust. For small children, hide a favorite toy that will comfort them.

Document the abuse by taking photos of bruises or injuries. It is best not to keep these images on your phone; have a friend or someone you trust keep photos for you. Save threatening voicemails, emails and text messages.

Gather important documents or copies of documents such as passports, birth certificates, social security cards, work permits, bank account numbers and insurance papers. Hide these at work or at a friend’s house.

Consider obtaining a protection order. A victim advocate can guide you through the process of applying for one. If you have a protection order, carry a copy of it with you at all times.

The abuser may have patterns to his/her abuse. Try to be aware of any signs that show s/he is about to become violent so that you can assess how dangerous the situation may be for you and your children.

Figure out where the "safer places" are in your home – the places where there aren't weapons within arm's reach. If it looks like the abuser is about to hurt you, try to get to a safer place. Stay out of the kitchen, garage, workshop, or other room where items that can be used as weapons are kept. Try to avoid rooms with tile or hardwood floors if possible.

If there's no way to escape the violence at that moment, make yourself a small target. Dive into a corner and curl up into a ball. Protect your face and put your arms around each side of your head, wrapping your fingers together.

Make a habit of backing the car into the driveway (so you can quickly pull out) and having a full tank of gas. Keep your car keys in the same place so you can easily grab them.

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